I read an article last week online that gave the top 10 reasons why black men feel it's hard to date black women. I'm sure this is one list of many top 10 list that have been written on this subject. It certainly is not the first that I've read. If you do a Google search, I'm sure you will find tons of articles alerting us to why we just don't hit the mark for black men. The list I read said:
- Black women make black men feel under appreciated, unwarranted and irresponsible and regressive.
- Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man.
- Black women are strong headed, too independent which presents great challenges in relationships.
- Black women are masculine in that they are controlling and like to run the relationship.
- Black women expect too much. They are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man.
- Black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes.
- Black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age.
- Black women are not as sexually open as other races, especially in regards to oral sex. Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle in white America.
- Black women do not cater to their men.
- No honor. They don't put family first
- No humility. They think they are owed something from you and the world
- They lack respect for our culture, family and friends.
- They don't respect the struggle of the past, and don't care about the present. They have no concept of the role they play in the future.
- It's all about money and how much they have and what they wear. They are pretty boys.
- They are insecure
- They have no aspirations
- Too many children with too many mothers
- They are looking for a mother and not a lover
- They want perfection when they too are imperfect beings
- They have no concept of what commitment is. As soon as a problem arises, they are looking for the "next best thing"
I can take this a step further and say that black men have been leaving black women for a long time. How many of us are raised by single mothers? How many daughters grow up without their father? Is it really something in us or something in them?
We can go back and forth with lists giving reasons why it's hard to date them and why they feel it's hard to date us. I say, all of us have our issues. No matter what color we are. But if a black man and a black woman can't work together to build a firm foundation for our families to survive, we will continue to see our culture deteriorate.
Wanna add to the list? Comment? Suggestions? Holla!!