Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Black Woman -Vs- Black Woman............

Is this another form of Black on Black crime?

I have been thinking about something for a few weeks now, and this morning I was really "lead" to write about it. Ya'll know when I get to thinking, we're all in trouble. :) Anyway, I work in an office that is about 98% women, black women. From the leader of the office down to the lowest. There are 8 men in this office that's dominated by women. Most of the women here have been in this one office for their entire career as Government employees, so this is practically home to them. I don't knock that, do you, and it has provided for your family. A few of us "younger" employees choose to move around in the Government, which means that we've been in several Government offices during our careers. That's not my issue. My issue is this: why is it that women cannot seem to get along? Especially black women? The majority of these women have formed bonds of friendship during their time working together and that's totally cool. They've been through marriages, divorces, children, grandchildren and all of life's changes together. That's all wonderful. But why is it that when a newer, younger female comes into the office, there is a lot of hate? You have women who are selfish with their knowledge of the work that you've been hired to do, women who sit around and talk about you because you are pregnant and not married, women who spread office gossip that has no basis and no inkling of being truthful. And these things are all being done by women who are well over 40. I guess I can expect this from women who are much younger and are trying to get ahead in their career. I know it shouldn't be expected but unfortunately it is. Why can't these women help the younger employee? Why can't they be honest and talk to the younger woman who is pregnant and say, yes, you're pregnant and it's going to be hard, but let me give you some advice on how I managed? Why talk about the woman you hear is going through marital problems? Go to her and say, "This is what helped me and my husband make it"

On the radio this morning, the People Poll asked the question, why can't women get along? Many called in with their reasons as to why they feel women can't get along or why they hate on each other, but the answer that stood out to me the most was one person who called and said that it's insecurities within. I had to think about that for a moment. I had to look at myself and ask the question have I ever perpetuated hate? Am I a jealous person? I think we are all jealous to a point. We all lust after things that someone else may have and we desire. I can admit that I've been jealous of my friends in certain instances, but I don't think I've been to the point where I would maliciously do something to them or spread rumors about their blessing. I know that at times I have to step back and check myself before it begins to get the best of me. I have to stop wondering "why them" and or "why not me?", stop focusing on me and begin to support and congratulate my friend. I think that's where the problem lies. Some women allow jealousy to get the best of them. They look at the outward things that a person may have and allow that desire to take them over.

I remember being in a church service and the Pastor said that when we look at the fame and glory of a person, all that they have and all that they've accomplished, we shouldn't get jealous or get filled w/ envy, because God can do for you what he did for that person also. He also said that we don't know the "story behind the glory". A lot of times, we don't know what a person had to go through to get to the point in which they are now. If we did know, we would probably understand and not feel jealousy. There is a Bible scripture that says something to the effect that the older women should teach the younger women how to live. I think, we are doing a terrible job at following that mandate. We have women who dress in a way that some would say resembles a prostitute, then dress our daughters that same way. We teach them how to dance like they are on a pole in some body's strip club, and encourage them to go after boys at an age where they don't even recognize their worth. We also sit around and hate on another sista right in front of them, so what do you think they'll do when they get older?

I'm not saying all of this to point the finger, because I'll be the first to admit that I've probably done some of these same things. What I'm trying to do is open our eyes so that we can recognize when we are exhibiting these behaviors and correct them. I know that when sistas get together, we can do wonders. Lets not hate on one another. Lets start helping one another, uplifting each other. Don't look at the sista with the family, fat house and Range Rover and think, she thinks she's all that. No, she doesn't, YOU DO. She worked hard to get what she has, and I'm sure if you approach her, and talk with her, you'll learn some things that will carry you through life that will possibly get you in the position that you want to be in.

1 comment:

Blaque Diamond said...

You know I don’t think it’s JUST older women it’s men as well. Anyway, you are right you expect the older women to help while the younger women hate! I have found that younger women will bend over backwards to help you, to teach you, and to greet you when you are new.
That caller you spoke about is absolutely right IT IS INSECURTIES! They are scared the younger person will shine while their light dims! Bottom line these very women need to learn how to uplift, encourage, and TEACH newcomer….HATERS!
And as I'm typing this the word verification is "hater" lol, maybe you need to share this blog with your dumb azz co-worker, I think I will.

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