Monday, December 29, 2008

I held my son's hand today.............

It's not the first time that I've held his hand, but it is the first time that I've realized how big his hand has gotten. I remember when he was younger, he would grab my hand, Oh how my heart would melt! His little hand didn't even fit in the middle of my palm, but his soft hand would grab a finger or two, and hold on as we walked. Today, I realized how much I missed that feeling. My son is 9 now. In approximately 8 months, he'll be the big 1-0! When he grabbed my hand today, a rush of memories and feelings flooded back to me. The day I brought him home from the hospital, the day he took his first step, the first day he said "Mama", and the first day he laughed.

Today when he grabbed my hand, he didn't hold it as tight as he used to, but I held onto his as tight as I could. When it felt that it was going to slip away, I grabbed on tighter. I didn't want to let it go. It felt so good. I began to realize that this was a moment that I needed to cherish. Pretty soon he would be too embarrassed to hold my hand in public, he'd be too old to hold my hand at all. I guess that is the progression of life. Your children begin to want to let go, or not hold on as tight, while parents want to hold on as they get older afraid to let them go out into the world on their own.

Today I realized that I must take my own advice and begin to cherish simple things and the quality time that I spend with my son. Time is going by so quickly. The memories that I have from the past 8 years, seem like they just happened yesterday, but in actuality, it was 9 years ago. Today will be a day that I'm sure will be a lasting memory for me. I know my son won't even remember any of it. But hopefully, he knows that he has a Mommy that loves him dearly. When he is older I hope that he remembers the quality time that we've shared, and the walks hand in hand that touched his mommy so.

Sweet T

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Will the real church please stand up?

I had a conversation today with my friend whom I've been friends with since forever, it seems. Somehow, the conversation went to the church. She and I both are Christians, however, at this time in her life she is going on a path of deeper spiritual growth that I have yet to experience. She has been at this thing for a long time now. We've both experienced some set backs, but I can thank God that we've both been able to get up, and keep moving. She began to share with me some things that she has experienced along her journey to become closer to God. Some of the things that she has experienced, I can say I have never experienced, but I have heard of others who have gone through similar things.

She has experienced, out right jealousy, nastiness, back biting, and tearing down of character. And this is just the short list. She describes these things as almost being the death of her. This angers me. Why? Because as Christians, aren't we supposed to lift each other up? I know that we are all human. I know that we sin daily. I know that none of us are perfect. However, if the church is supposed to be the place that we are to run to when we are at our lowest, and when we get there, we are still treated as if we are nobody, or that we are not good enough to be there, what is the point of it all?

The stories I hear about what goes on in church has always prevented me from becoming one of the folks that usher, or are very active in the church. I know I shouldn't let others influence my decisions, but I guess I didn't want to see or experience the things that I've heard about.

Right now, I'm at a place that I will call "stagnant". I'm not a member of a church (at least not an active member), and I haven't been to one consistently in a while. I wholeheartedly believe that I am a Christian. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. But I've come to the point where I have questions about the things that go on in church. Not just the "human" things that happen but the so called "spiritual" ones too.

In the meantime, why can't we all just be good to one another? Why do we have to tear each other down? Especially in the church? My tidbit for today, lets start treating each other well. If a friend or family member has some good news, be truly happy for them. You too can have that same good news. I know there is good in all of us. Let's begin to treat each other the way that we would want to be treated. This is not to put down the church, I know there are many out there that do great things. I'm just afraid of what the next generation is going to be left with if they can't trust that they have a safe place to go to.

Sweet T

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Pay raise for Congress?

Watching the news today, I see that a pay increase is scheduled for Members of Congress. Wow! I check online to find out more information and discover that, it is in fact true. Members of Congress will receive a cost of living increase of about $4700 per member. Wow! Which will cost tax payers about 2.5 million. Wow! A typical lawmaker makes about $169,000, per year.

The average working adult is living paycheck to paycheck. It's been reported that the middle class are almost non existent. People that we deem as rich or wealthy have been forced into foreclosure. Banks have gone under. The stock market has seen it's lowest numbers in years. But Congress voted to give themselves a pay raise. Yes, some did vote against it, but miraculously, there were more who voted for the raise. Wow!

Do I think that they do not work hard? Not at all. I think they work very hard. But they also play very hard. Right now they are on vacation for the Holidays. How many of us can take off for a couple of weeks, with pay? I know that because of their choice to work for our country, make laws and things like that, they should be allowed to experience and have privileges that most Americans can't. However, they are fully compensated for the job that they do.

One reporter asked a lady on the street if she felt the raise was necessary or valid. She said that she thought it was. She said that Congress works very hard, and she also said that her husband worked for Congress for many years. Hmmm? Sounds like a conflict of interest to me. Of course she would say that.

I'm not saying that they should not get a raise. I'm just wondering if this is the right time. The way the economy is, the rate that folks are losing jobs, is this the best time for Congress to take money from taxpayers? We've seen the Big 3 asking for bailout money, and Congress members wailing on them about their private jets, and salaries. Lets ask the Members of Congress if they are willing to work for $1. Lets ask them if they are willing to work for half of that average $169,000 that they make now.

I guess I'm a little pissed off about this, so I'm babbling on. These are just my random thoughts for today. No tidbits. I just honestly think that now is not the time for a pay raise for Members of Congress. Especially when the next story on the news is about one of the Big 3 companies shutting down for a month, and the workers will not be paid during that time.

Sweet T

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


On my way home from work the other day, I'm driving down the street and notice a large crowd of teenage kids. Girls and boys. I immediately think, "Something is about to happen". As I sit at the light, I watch them as they continue to walk. They walk into a yard on a corner lot. Then it happened. A fight. I knew something was about to go down. I'm not that old that I don't remember the days when we used to follow a fight after school. All day long, we'd hear the buzz of who was going to fight who, and where and what time it was going to happen. I'm also not that old to not want to watch a fight and report what happened to my friends who may have missed it. LOL!! But, something was a little different this time. As I sat at the light, I also began to think, "What if one of them pulls out a gun?" or "What if one of them has a weapon?" I also thought, should I call the police?

What happened to a time when a fight was just that? A fight. No weapons. Just two people battling out their frustrations. Fighting over he said she said type of stuff. There were no worries over whether or not both people would walk away from the fight, because most likely, they always did. One may not have as much pride as they did before the fight, because they lost, but they walked away. And the two parties would most likely be friends in a month or two. Why did my thoughts begin to go there? Am I brainwashed by the media to think that kids are not kids anymore?

From what I can tell, no one was hurt badly from this fight. It was just what I remember a fight to be: A fight! No weapons. No jumping. Just two people battling. As I drove away from the light, I shook my head. No, I didn't call the police. And I am happy to report that nothing was in the paper to suggest that this fight turned into something deadly.

I don't have a tidbit for today, I can only say that if you are at the age where you have had some of these same thoughts when you've seen teenagers like this, think about you at that age. And look at who you've become. If you are still doing some of the things you did at that age, then yes, I think you should be afraid. But if you've matured and become a responsible adult, don't be so hard on the kids. I know we're dealing with a "new breed" of teens/children these days, but they are not all bad.

Sweet T

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

BOYS TO MEN................

My son is a talker. I must admit that sometimes his talking is so excessive that I have to tell him to please take a break. Or at least give me a break. LOL! Yesterday morning, as we always do, we were talking as we walked into the school. I don't know exactly how the conversation started, but he made the comment that he was going to teach himself how to be a man. That comment really got my attention. I said to him, "Son, you don't have to teach yourself how to be a man. You have some real men in your life now that will show you". He began to run down the names of those men, and I began to feel proud that he recognizes what a real man is.

A lot of us women, especially women of color believe that we can teach our sons to be men. And granted I believe that for years, we have been left to do so which makes us believe we can. It was a hard pill to swallow for me also, but I now understand that boys need something different that only a man can give them. I too was one who thought that I was super woman and could do it all, even teach my son to be a man. I do believe that some things I teach him about what a woman likes, and things of that nature, no man can really teach him, but the things that really matter, and that will really make a difference in his life as a man, can only be taught by a man. A real man. There are lessons in the things that they've experienced that I will never be able to relay to my son or be able to relate to if/when he experience those same things.

With that being said, my tidbit for today is mainly for the ladies. Ladies, let your boys grow up to be men. I know some may feel slighted by this, but it's all said in love. I'm tired of middle aged boys, and I think the majority of us single women are. I know we feel like we can do it all, but ladies, we can't. If you have a POSITIVE MAN in your life, be it a father, friend, cousin etc., let him be a part of your son's life to teach him things that we can never teach him.

To all the positive men in my life, who've taken the opportunity to teach my son some tidbits about being a man, I say THANK YOU! I cannot do it without you.

Sweet T

Monday, December 8, 2008

Customer Service....Where Did it Go?

I went to a major home improvement store over the weekend to purchase much needed shower doors. I was told by my home improvement guy to purchase the doors, and he will pick them up later that day or the next day. Cool. No problem. I've done that before. I go to the store, find the model number to what I need, go to the register to pay for it. Well, the cashier rings me up, I pay, leave the store feeling like I've accomplished something, feeling happy because I'm finally getting rid of the horrible shower doors I have up now. Ring! Ring! That's my cell ringing, a call from my home improvement guy telling me that the doors I just purchased are not in stock. Huh? Not in stock? Didn't I just pay the cashier for them? He tells me that I have to come back to the store, get a refund, and then go to another store in the area to repurchase. Can't they call the store, have them shipped to their store for the inconvenience? Nope! Why wouldn't the cashier alert me that they do not have those doors in stock before I paid for them? At this point, I'm heated! It's cold out. Really cold. I have to leave the warmth of my home to hop back in my car, go back to the store to get my refund. I made the mistake of not taking cash back, and advised "Customer Service" to place the funds back in my acct. Big Mistake! I check my acct a couple days later, and to my surprise, NO FUNDS! I call the store, and they tell me that it may take up to 14 days for the funds to be credited to my acct. Wow! It only took a couple of seconds for them to debit the money from my acct.

All this makes me wonder.........What happened to the motto, "The customer comes first" or "The customer is always right"? What happened to businesses actually wanting to keep their customers happy? I admit, it was my fault for not taking the cash back option for my refund, but would I have had to go through all of this if the cashier would have told me initially that the doors I was paying for were not in stock? That to me would have demonstrated excellent customer service. Why have your customer pay for something that you don't have? This is not the only incident of poor customer service that I've experienced, just the most recent one. I could go on and on about it, but I won't. I'm sure all of us have some stories to tell.

With all that being said, my tidbit for today is.............................IF YOU WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, SERVE YOUR CUSTOMER!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Cleaning out my closets...........

I know some may see this title and think this post is going to be something deep like coming clean to a friend by telling her your secret that you've slept w/ her man, or telling your man that you're pregnant by another man, or telling your mom that when you were 16 you kissed her boyfriend. But no my friends, this post is about just what the title says. I am literally cleaning out my closets in my home. What a job it is! I started w/ my closet. I've found new clothes w/ tags on them. Clothes that I haven't worn in years that are 4 sizes too small, and clothes that I haven't worn for some time that have only been worn once or twice. I've found shoes that are truly gone out of style. Shoes that I haven't worn since who knows when, and those shoes that are so worn in that you hesitate to give them away or throw them away because they fit just right. I found handbags that I haven't used in years. Some I haven't seen since high school. I then moved on to my books, my son's games, his toys and books, and his clothes. And, I am not finished. I probably won't be for another week or so. That's just the amount of stuff I have accumulated over the 5 years of being in this house. Who knows what I brought with me upon moving in.

All of this led me to think about how blessed I really am. Even though I have a hallway full of things to give away or sell, I still have a closet full of clothes and shoes. My son still has games to play, and we both still have new books that have yet to be read. Although I am a little depressed over finding the clothes that are 4 sizes too small, it reminds me that I have not missed a meal, and my waistline proves that.

So, if you haven't figured it out yet, my tidbit for today is..............COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. You can start by cleaning out your closets.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

What Would You Do?

I watched the movie, Gone Baby Gone, last night and it left a burning question in my mind. Well, it left me wondering about several things, but the main question I have is "What would I do?" The main character in the movie was hired to help find a missing little girl. I won't give away the movie, but I will say that by the end of the movie he finds the girl. However, he is faced with a decision that to some may seem very hard to do. It is a decision that to some may seem easy, but for me it left some questions in my mind. I know we've all seen and heard of children who are abused, or neglected by those who are not their natural parents. But what if it is their natural parent (s)? But what if a child is in a situation where the parent (s) may not be necessarily physically abusive, is there in the home with the child but still not really attentive. What if that parent is a provider, and does what is required by law for the child, but still is lacking in some areas? Would we call that abuse? There are no physical scars on the child and the child appears to be healthy. Would you or even can you report abuse to CPS for a child who is provided for, but yet lacking in other areas?

The movie touched on issues of child abuse, horrendous child sexual abuse also. It actually kept me up last night after watching it. I know for sure that we would report any type of sexual abuse. Wouldn't we? Or would we say, "It's not our business" or "It's not my child". We have to begin to protect our children at all cost. I am hurt, but mostly angered at the lack of protection our children receive today. We all have to look out for each other's children.

My tid bit for today is, HOLD ON TO YOUR CHILDREN. Don't just do the minimum that is necessary or what is required by law. Talk to them. Listen to them. Spend time with them. I know with this economy we adults are so consumed with maintaining our household, that it may seem as if we don't have the time or energy to do this, but lets not forget our babies. They grow up so fast, and before you know it, they'll be gone. No more babies, no more football practices to ship them to or fro. No more dance recitals to watch. No more homework to be checked. Before we know it, they'll be Gone, Baby. Gone.

My Favorites

  • My Son
  • My Family
  • My KD
  • My Friends
  • Kindred Family Soul
  • Eric Roberson
  • Fred Hammond
  • Jill Scott
  • Mary J. Blige
  • Left Behind Series
  • Love Jones
  • Coming to America
  • The Bridges of Madison County
  • The Color Purple
  • The Kite Runner
  • The Wire
  • Boomerrang
  • The Notebook
  • Love and Basketball


"I'm calling out to You, for a strength exchange. I'll gladly take Your Joy, for my weakness"