WHAT'S YOUR PERSONAL SONG?

On a recent trip home from NYC, by Boo and I were chit chatting as usual.  He brought up an episode of Oprah (I love her) that he saw some time ago where Ms. O spoke on the need for a personal song in one's life.  Basically what it boils down to is a song that defines who you are or how you are feeling at a point in your life.  He said that got him to thinking, what would his personal song say about him?  Well, at this time in his life, his journey has brought him to Ledisi's "It's Alright".  For those who know of this song, you know that she is saying that no matter what is going on in her finances, love life, job or whatever at the time, she knows every thing is going to be ALRIGHT.  I love that song.  Good choice Boo!

As I began to ponder the question, I began to think over my life.  I think a personal song can change according to what's going on in your life or how you are feeling.  I thought about things that have happened in my life, how my attitude has changed, and how different things have effected both.  So, this is how I think my personal songs in life have gone:

In my early 20's I would say my personal song would have been Mary J. Blige, "My Life".  I am a HUGE Mary fan!  I consider her music as my life being put out there for all to know.  In "My Life", she really touched on how I was feeling at the time.  On the outside I was happy, but if you really look at my life, you would see some things that you didn't even know were there.

In my mid 20's, I would say Fred Hammond's "Let the Praise Begin" would have been my personal song.  At that time, I was introduced to a personal relationship with my Lord and Saviour.  As you all know, when you are first introduced to Him, you feel renewed.  I couldn't do anything but Praise Him at that time.  When I thought about how good He is and was to me, praise was all I could do.

Still in my mid 20's, I became pregnant.  Yeah, I know.  How did that happen after all the praising?  Well, we all fall short right? As I said in a previous post, that was a turning point in my life.  I won't go into further detail, I would just say that at a certain point, my personal song would have been "I'm in love under new management".  As I've stated before, I loved my son from the beginning.  I had no clue how I was going to take care of him, I also didn't want to be a single mother, but the life growing inside of me I loved from the beginning.  I knew that because of that love I felt, I would do what it takes to make his life as enjoyable and comfortable as possible.

My later 20's and early 30's were a confusing time for me.  I still loved the Lord, and I knew that I was forgiven.  But I also knew that there were some things in me that needed to change in order for me to move forward with my life.  I needed to forgive myself for some things, I needed a change of heart in some areas, and I needed confidence in knowing who I was in this life and who I was to God.  At that time I would say that my personal song would have been Fred Hammond's "Your steps are Ordered" and "Give me a Clean Heart".  I knew that God was dealing with me on some things.  I knew that the embarassment, rejection, condemnation, lack of understanding, pain, and the feeling of being unlovable were things that I had to let go of in order to live a full life.  I could literally feel in my heart that God was dealing with me.  I too had to deal with myself.  That process took longer than I expected, but I think I'm finally to a point where I can say that I beleive I'm forgiven, I no longer feel the pain I felt (at least not as strongly as I did), I am lovable (and so is my son) and I am not ashamed any more. 
None of that is to say that God is done with me.  By no means is my journey complete.  I will never get to the point where I feel I am all together.  I know I can always learn and grow.  Especially in the things of God.  What I am saying is that during that time, I found out a lot about myself. Some of it was painful, but it was worth going through. 

Now on to the present.  In the car that day, I thought about all of this, and the personal song I think gives an inside look into my life would be, Jill Scott's "Golden".  I think I am finally at a point in my life where I know who I am.  Sometimes I do forget tho. :) I don't let things bother me as much as they used to.  I love learning, and meeting new people.  I am a little more confident than I used to be. :)  I truly feel that I am living my life like it's Golden because it truly is!  We only have one to live.  Hopefully, this is the last personal song for me.  I plan to continue to live my life like it's Golden no matter what. 

With that said, my tidbit would be, please live your life like it's GOLDEN!  It really is the only one we get.  Don't waste it. 

What would your personal song be?  I would love to hear it.

Peace!

Sweet Tee