What does it mean to forgive? The dictionary says: FORGIVE- REGARD WITHOUT ILL WILL DESPITE AN OFFENSE. Thats a very simple definition, but how do you actually do that? Roget's Thesaurus uses these words: PARDON, EXCUSE, EXONERATION, RECONCILIATION, UNRESENTED, ABSOLUTION, THINK NO MORE OF. Wow! We've all heard the saying, "forgive, but never forget" right? Well according to these definitions, that is so not true. It's funny that this thought is on my mind during the beginning of this holiday season.
Last month, I recieved a call from my father who stated that he wanted to come visit for Thanksgiving. He said he wanted to spend time with his grandson, and drive to visit his sister during his time here. Of course, I couldn't say no, but deep in my heart I was a little disturbed. Why, you ask? Well, for starters, my father and I don't have a very close relationship. From what I'm told he left when I was about 3. I've always known him, because during some summers I went to visit him. Until the age of around 13 or so, I told my mom I no longer wanted to go. From that time on, we corresponded by mail or occasional phone calls, and at times I would meet him and other family members in North Carolina for a few days. With that said, I definitely know who he is. However, he was still absent for the most part.
He and I have talked about my issues, and I told him how I felt. He told me some things about his life and why he made the choice to leave. He also asked me for forgiveness. Yep, there goes that word again. During that conversation, I thought that I was free, and able to forgive. I felt so free, when I got off my chest the things that I've been holding in for years. I also thought that I had forgiven him. We kept in touch more now, through phone calls, and there was actually a two way conversation. Big step. So, of course I thought I had done the ultimate, I was able to forgive.
Well, the time came for him to make his appearance, and I can't lie, I was full of anxiety. So much so, that every time I thought about it, I would cry. What was that about? I don't think I feel anger, I'm no longer angry at him, but I do feel a void. I feel like I don't know him. There is still an uncomfortable feeling when I'm around him. I feel like a little girl again. And being alive for 36 years, this is the very first time that I've ever spent a holiday with my father.
Is this a test for me to see if I've really forgiven him? Is this an opportunity for me to get to know who he is as a person? Whatever it is, it's making me put my forgiveness in action so to speak. If I really have forgiven, I need to prove it. I have to put what the dictionary and the thesaurus says into action. I don't want to have a hard heart, and I don't want to go through life wondering "what if".
So with that said, I guess over this holiday I will be practicing the act of forgiveness. Wish me luck ya'll. I need all the help I can get. If I make it though this challenge, that will be one more thing that I can be thankful for.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Still going......
I'm still in transition from relaxer to natural, I haven't given up on it just yet. But wow! I did not know it would be so much work! I am what I consider to be very low maintenance. With a relaxer I didn't have to wash my hair once a week, and when I did wash it that frequently, it was because my scalp would flake so badly that I didn't have a choice. I could work out, wrap my hair, and be ready to go in the morning. Maybe a little bend here and there with the flat iron or curling iron, but I'd be on my way. Since taking my braids out and deciding to go natural, I've washed my hair once every week, and believe me, that's really stretching my hair style. I could very well wash twice a week, but I just don't have the time nor skill to do that. Because I'm dealing with two different textures of hair, the curls at my natural roots sweat out much faster than the relaxed ends. However, because I still have more relaxer than natural roots, I can still get away with covering the roots with the curls on the end.
I'm still reading the blogs, and websites dedicated to natural hair, and I've brought my first products. I purchased Herbal Essences totally twisted conditioner and Cantu Shea Butter strengthening treatment. I can't give a review of the totally twisted because honestly, I don't think it helps my hair to curl as I thought it would. However, it smells awesome! I will continue to use it until it's gone. The Cantu Shea Butter makes my hair feel really soft, and makes it manageable. From what I can tell now, it will be a keeper for me. And this product also smells wonderful.
I've been enlisting the help of one of my best friends every week, and luckily she's been a willing participant in making me look presentable to the world during this transition. We've been setting my hair with the perm/jherri curl rods, and it actually come out really cute. The ironic thing is that I'm finally getting a chance to use the jherri curl rods that I begged my mom for. LOL!! Yeah, I cracked myself up with that thought!
I'm still hanging in there. Still trying to get used to my natural texture and fall in love with what God gave me. I haven't given up yet. So to all my newly natural sistas who are out there with me, keep hope alive. We can do this!
Sweet T
I'm still reading the blogs, and websites dedicated to natural hair, and I've brought my first products. I purchased Herbal Essences totally twisted conditioner and Cantu Shea Butter strengthening treatment. I can't give a review of the totally twisted because honestly, I don't think it helps my hair to curl as I thought it would. However, it smells awesome! I will continue to use it until it's gone. The Cantu Shea Butter makes my hair feel really soft, and makes it manageable. From what I can tell now, it will be a keeper for me. And this product also smells wonderful.
I've been enlisting the help of one of my best friends every week, and luckily she's been a willing participant in making me look presentable to the world during this transition. We've been setting my hair with the perm/jherri curl rods, and it actually come out really cute. The ironic thing is that I'm finally getting a chance to use the jherri curl rods that I begged my mom for. LOL!! Yeah, I cracked myself up with that thought!
I'm still hanging in there. Still trying to get used to my natural texture and fall in love with what God gave me. I haven't given up yet. So to all my newly natural sistas who are out there with me, keep hope alive. We can do this!
Sweet T
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Hair Story-All Natural
I've begun a transition in my life that I must say is one of the hardest things I've ever tried. I'm taking my hair to a new level, a level that I hope will revive it, a level that I hope will revive me and give me more confidence, a level that I haven't been to in I don't know how long. I've decided to go ALL NATURAL! Now, those who know me should know that this is a journey that is horrifying for me. Those who don't know me and are reading this are probably like, "So what?" LOL!! Well, let me start from the beginning:
From the time that I can remember, I've always had thick hair. I remember my mom or my grandma braiding it, or putting pony tails all over my head. My favorite hairstyle was when my mom braided it and put beads on the ends. Man I loved that style! I remember for Easter, I'd go to the hairdresser and get a nice hard pressing with some Shirley Temple curls all over my head. When I got a little older, my mom would send me to the hairdresser where I would get my hair pressed straight. I would get one of those old fashioned pressings where you would come out of the salon with shiny straight hair, with the cutest ponytails on the side, and bangs. If I didn't go to the hairdresser, I remember being in my mom's kitchen as she attempted to straighten out my kitchen with the hot comb. My neck would get burned and Lord help my ears. LOL!! But even through all that, my hair was healthy and thick. I think I've always been kind of obsessed with my hair. I remember begging my mom to let me get a Jherri Curl. I thank God and her now that she wouldn't let me get one. She always told me that I was too young, I could get one when I was 16. Well, 16 came and went and so did the Jherri Curl fad. I'm so glad I don't have any pics that can come back to haunt me. LOL!!
I don't know when I got my first relaxer, probably as a teenager. But even then my hair was healthy. I put braids in my hair occasionally, and then get relaxers, then braids again, then back to relaxers. I've worn my hair short, had color, grew it out, cut it again, relaxed it again, and I guess through all of that, my hair just slowly became unhealthy.
As you all know, hair is a woman's crown and glory. We love our hair, it is a part of who we are. We love to change styles and color. We adorn it with bows, clips, headbands, and sometimes we add more hair. Just look at all the hair care products on the market for women. These companies are making a killing! When our hair isn't right, we will hide out in the house until we get it right.
My decision to go natural is tough because, for one, I've had to deal with the negative images of black hair all of my life. I bought in to the nappy hair good hair thing. I am one of those nappy hair girls, my hair would never be classified as "good". Another thing is that my hair is very damaged. It's easy to relax it, or get a nice hair cut and keep it moving. But I'm realizing now that I need to maintain and take care of my hair, not just cover up the damage. That just creates more damage. Lastly, I have very thin hair at the top of my head. I don't know if the damage was caused by all the relaxers or if it was caused by a particular medicine that I was on. I'm not on that medicine any longer, haven't been for a long time, so you would think that the hair would have grown back by now. But it hasn't.
Every day for the past 2 weeks I've been searching the Internet, trying to find ways to make my transition from the relaxer to natural as easy as possible. I was amazed at all the women who blog about their journey to natural, how freeing they all say it is, and how they have begun a love affair with their hair. I love seeing the different styles they create and reading the product reviews. They've given me the courage I need to keep going with this. The one thing they haven't given me the courage to do was the Big Chop or BC as it is affectionately called. I could never cut all the relaxer out. Needless to say, this process has also made me aware that I'm a little more vain than I ever thought I was. :0
I want to thank the women out there in cyber world who are encouraging me to keep going. You don't know how much your posts help a sista like me. Thank you to: Natural Diva, The Coarse Hair Diary, Curly Nikki, and all the others who pour out knowledge in this journey to be natural.
So today, I guess I don't really have a tidbit, or maybe I do......as I find my way to a love affair with my hair, I hope you all out there can find your way too. Be encouraged.
Sweet T
From the time that I can remember, I've always had thick hair. I remember my mom or my grandma braiding it, or putting pony tails all over my head. My favorite hairstyle was when my mom braided it and put beads on the ends. Man I loved that style! I remember for Easter, I'd go to the hairdresser and get a nice hard pressing with some Shirley Temple curls all over my head. When I got a little older, my mom would send me to the hairdresser where I would get my hair pressed straight. I would get one of those old fashioned pressings where you would come out of the salon with shiny straight hair, with the cutest ponytails on the side, and bangs. If I didn't go to the hairdresser, I remember being in my mom's kitchen as she attempted to straighten out my kitchen with the hot comb. My neck would get burned and Lord help my ears. LOL!! But even through all that, my hair was healthy and thick. I think I've always been kind of obsessed with my hair. I remember begging my mom to let me get a Jherri Curl. I thank God and her now that she wouldn't let me get one. She always told me that I was too young, I could get one when I was 16. Well, 16 came and went and so did the Jherri Curl fad. I'm so glad I don't have any pics that can come back to haunt me. LOL!!
I don't know when I got my first relaxer, probably as a teenager. But even then my hair was healthy. I put braids in my hair occasionally, and then get relaxers, then braids again, then back to relaxers. I've worn my hair short, had color, grew it out, cut it again, relaxed it again, and I guess through all of that, my hair just slowly became unhealthy.
As you all know, hair is a woman's crown and glory. We love our hair, it is a part of who we are. We love to change styles and color. We adorn it with bows, clips, headbands, and sometimes we add more hair. Just look at all the hair care products on the market for women. These companies are making a killing! When our hair isn't right, we will hide out in the house until we get it right.
My decision to go natural is tough because, for one, I've had to deal with the negative images of black hair all of my life. I bought in to the nappy hair good hair thing. I am one of those nappy hair girls, my hair would never be classified as "good". Another thing is that my hair is very damaged. It's easy to relax it, or get a nice hair cut and keep it moving. But I'm realizing now that I need to maintain and take care of my hair, not just cover up the damage. That just creates more damage. Lastly, I have very thin hair at the top of my head. I don't know if the damage was caused by all the relaxers or if it was caused by a particular medicine that I was on. I'm not on that medicine any longer, haven't been for a long time, so you would think that the hair would have grown back by now. But it hasn't.
Every day for the past 2 weeks I've been searching the Internet, trying to find ways to make my transition from the relaxer to natural as easy as possible. I was amazed at all the women who blog about their journey to natural, how freeing they all say it is, and how they have begun a love affair with their hair. I love seeing the different styles they create and reading the product reviews. They've given me the courage I need to keep going with this. The one thing they haven't given me the courage to do was the Big Chop or BC as it is affectionately called. I could never cut all the relaxer out. Needless to say, this process has also made me aware that I'm a little more vain than I ever thought I was. :0
I want to thank the women out there in cyber world who are encouraging me to keep going. You don't know how much your posts help a sista like me. Thank you to: Natural Diva, The Coarse Hair Diary, Curly Nikki, and all the others who pour out knowledge in this journey to be natural.
So today, I guess I don't really have a tidbit, or maybe I do......as I find my way to a love affair with my hair, I hope you all out there can find your way too. Be encouraged.
Sweet T
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
MEN, CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT THEM?
Hmmm, interesting question. And if you ask a room full of black women you will most likely get a room full of "Hell Yeah's!" This question is a very tough one for me. The reason why is because I was raised by a black woman who did her thing alone. I was surrounded by black women who made it happen for their kids regardless of the absence of men in their lives. My grandmother, God rest her soul, was the proud mother of 11 children. She did not complete her education, but she worked and took care of her children without the assistance of welfare and unfortunately without the assistance of a man. See, my grandfather left her. To this day, no one really knows why, there is plenty of speculation, but no concrete answers. I've seen those children grow up to be productive adults, not without bumps in the road, but pretty much productive. So on one hand, I feel that yes, a woman can do it without a man.
But then I look at myself. I am the product of a single mother, and as I said, my mom put it down for us. We didn't have a need or want that was not met. But emotionally, I was missing something. I didn't realize until later in life that what I missed was my father. Yeah, I knew who he was, I knew where he lived, and he wrote and called occasionally. I even spent time with him during some summers. So, he wasn't totally absent, but I needed him more than what I got.
I've also had conversations with my friend who did not have his father, and he too feels that he missed a lot not having his father there. I also look at our black boys today. They seem so lost. They don't seem to know what it takes to be a man.
So to answer the question, can we live without men? I don't think we can. Yes, women have come a long way. We run our own businesses, we buy our own homes, we even make more or just as much money as men in the workplace now, but does that mean we can live without men? We've raised our children without men for years, the majority turn out great, but some fall by the wayside. We should not have to raise our kids alone, but we've been left to do so, and we do it. I once heard that there are more fatherless families now than there were during slavery. That to me is outrageous! The fact that fathers were a part of the black family during a time when we were separated based on need, money, trade or whatever, than what they are now is disgusting to me. Think about that. I'm not saying that people who are not happy together should stay together for the sake of the children, because that is another issue, but what I am saying is that we should be able to be adults and if we do break up, don't break up with our children.
Black women today have this thing where we feel we are strong, and honestly we are. I think we have to endure more than any other woman on the planet. We are often heard saying, "I'm a strong black woman", and there is nothing wrong with being proud and strong. But what does that really mean? Do we need to be in a relationship to be happy, no. Do we need a man to survive, no. I think we are strong black women, but I also think that statement can be taken way out of context.
My tidbit for today is: When you are asked whether or not we can live without men really think about that question. I don't think we can live without them just as they can't live without us.
But then I look at myself. I am the product of a single mother, and as I said, my mom put it down for us. We didn't have a need or want that was not met. But emotionally, I was missing something. I didn't realize until later in life that what I missed was my father. Yeah, I knew who he was, I knew where he lived, and he wrote and called occasionally. I even spent time with him during some summers. So, he wasn't totally absent, but I needed him more than what I got.
I've also had conversations with my friend who did not have his father, and he too feels that he missed a lot not having his father there. I also look at our black boys today. They seem so lost. They don't seem to know what it takes to be a man.
So to answer the question, can we live without men? I don't think we can. Yes, women have come a long way. We run our own businesses, we buy our own homes, we even make more or just as much money as men in the workplace now, but does that mean we can live without men? We've raised our children without men for years, the majority turn out great, but some fall by the wayside. We should not have to raise our kids alone, but we've been left to do so, and we do it. I once heard that there are more fatherless families now than there were during slavery. That to me is outrageous! The fact that fathers were a part of the black family during a time when we were separated based on need, money, trade or whatever, than what they are now is disgusting to me. Think about that. I'm not saying that people who are not happy together should stay together for the sake of the children, because that is another issue, but what I am saying is that we should be able to be adults and if we do break up, don't break up with our children.
Black women today have this thing where we feel we are strong, and honestly we are. I think we have to endure more than any other woman on the planet. We are often heard saying, "I'm a strong black woman", and there is nothing wrong with being proud and strong. But what does that really mean? Do we need to be in a relationship to be happy, no. Do we need a man to survive, no. I think we are strong black women, but I also think that statement can be taken way out of context.
My tidbit for today is: When you are asked whether or not we can live without men really think about that question. I don't think we can live without them just as they can't live without us.
Friday, August 7, 2009
I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MY RADIO!!
That's what LL said back in the 80's, but I beg to differ today. I can definitely live without the radio today. Remember the days when Hip Hop was making its way into the mainstream, and there were battles against the rappers that stayed on wax and not brought to real life? Remember how LL killed Cool Moe Dee on Mama Said Knock You Out? That was REAL Hip Hop. Remember how Public Enemy always brought us the truth in their lyrics, even with crazy looking Flava Flav up front with that stupid looking clock, asking us if we know what time it is? Remember Salt & Peppa bringing us knowledge on Lets Talk About Sex? Man! Those were the days!
I was definitely what I would call a Hip Hop head back in the day. I loved watching BET, to get my fix of East Coast rappers, and styles of that time. I loved hearing how the rappers flowed. They rapped about things like Adidas, Love, killing other MC's with lyrics, around the way girls, and dancing. Their flow was so tight, that you would recite the lyrics along with the song and at the same time gain some knowledge and black pride. Not only that, you had fun! They smiled in the videos, they danced and most of all the creativity was THE BEST. I wish I would turn my T.V. to BET now!
Now, the so called "rappers" all look alike, sound alike, and it seems that the only thing they can rap about is sex, drugs and killing. Wow! Now, that's what I call creative. NOT! I get in plenty of disagreements with my family about Lil Wayne. They say, he's got swagga, he can flow. I'm like O really? I guess telling a story about how much money you made selling drugs and the millions of woman you've slept with in a different way means you can flow? I beg to differ. Then we have the clones of Lil Wayne. Who are all these dudes that want to wear the dreads, look dirty, pants hanging so low I can see your butt, and rap about the same things that the other dude rapped about yesterday? Why do they all have to have that Autotune mess on their songs now? And by the way, it's not new, Roger Trout did that a long time ago. I can't thank Jay Z enough for D.O.A. (Death of Autotune):"na na na na, hey hey hey goodbye. I know we facin a recession But the music yall makin gonna make it the great depression" No truer words have ever been spoken. Every thing is so gimmicky now, it's ridiculous.
I miss the days of Salt & Peppa "My Mike Sounds Nice", and LL crooning to us as he says "I need Love". Don't get me wrong, I think there are still some rappers that can flow like no other. We still have Jay Z (the greatest), Kanye (the best), Common (so smooth with it), Mos Def (no words), T.I. (what can I say) and Nas (yo, where you at?). Yes, they all speak on some things that I would prefer not to listen to, but you can't deny the flow they all bring. That's what I call SWAGGA!
My son's IPOD is full of songs from back in the day. I am proud to say that I've introduced him to some music that kids his age probably have no clue about. He loves "old school" rap, and I love hearing him recite the lyrics from back in the day. Yeah, he also likes the crap they play on the radio today, but believe me, I sensor it as much as I can. In my car, it gets no play.
Bring back the days when music was good. When music was fun. When rappers were just as arrogant as they are today, but had the lyrics to back it up. I miss BIG. I miss Pac before he started trippin. I miss EPMD, Special Ed, MC Lyte and Queen Latifah. I could go on and on, but I won't. I won't even touch on R&B today, that's a whole other post.
If you all have something from back in the day that you miss, Holla at your girl. I'm feeling like Mary J right now, I want to Reminisce on the love we had.
I was definitely what I would call a Hip Hop head back in the day. I loved watching BET, to get my fix of East Coast rappers, and styles of that time. I loved hearing how the rappers flowed. They rapped about things like Adidas, Love, killing other MC's with lyrics, around the way girls, and dancing. Their flow was so tight, that you would recite the lyrics along with the song and at the same time gain some knowledge and black pride. Not only that, you had fun! They smiled in the videos, they danced and most of all the creativity was THE BEST. I wish I would turn my T.V. to BET now!
Now, the so called "rappers" all look alike, sound alike, and it seems that the only thing they can rap about is sex, drugs and killing. Wow! Now, that's what I call creative. NOT! I get in plenty of disagreements with my family about Lil Wayne. They say, he's got swagga, he can flow. I'm like O really? I guess telling a story about how much money you made selling drugs and the millions of woman you've slept with in a different way means you can flow? I beg to differ. Then we have the clones of Lil Wayne. Who are all these dudes that want to wear the dreads, look dirty, pants hanging so low I can see your butt, and rap about the same things that the other dude rapped about yesterday? Why do they all have to have that Autotune mess on their songs now? And by the way, it's not new, Roger Trout did that a long time ago. I can't thank Jay Z enough for D.O.A. (Death of Autotune):"na na na na, hey hey hey goodbye. I know we facin a recession But the music yall makin gonna make it the great depression" No truer words have ever been spoken. Every thing is so gimmicky now, it's ridiculous.
I miss the days of Salt & Peppa "My Mike Sounds Nice", and LL crooning to us as he says "I need Love". Don't get me wrong, I think there are still some rappers that can flow like no other. We still have Jay Z (the greatest), Kanye (the best), Common (so smooth with it), Mos Def (no words), T.I. (what can I say) and Nas (yo, where you at?). Yes, they all speak on some things that I would prefer not to listen to, but you can't deny the flow they all bring. That's what I call SWAGGA!
My son's IPOD is full of songs from back in the day. I am proud to say that I've introduced him to some music that kids his age probably have no clue about. He loves "old school" rap, and I love hearing him recite the lyrics from back in the day. Yeah, he also likes the crap they play on the radio today, but believe me, I sensor it as much as I can. In my car, it gets no play.
Bring back the days when music was good. When music was fun. When rappers were just as arrogant as they are today, but had the lyrics to back it up. I miss BIG. I miss Pac before he started trippin. I miss EPMD, Special Ed, MC Lyte and Queen Latifah. I could go on and on, but I won't. I won't even touch on R&B today, that's a whole other post.
If you all have something from back in the day that you miss, Holla at your girl. I'm feeling like Mary J right now, I want to Reminisce on the love we had.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Did you want me?
Wow! I can't believe I've been missing from the blog scene for 3 months. Not that I haven't been compelled to write, I've just been busy or shall I say too lazy to pull out the laptop when I get home and type. I do have a lot on my mind and hopefully, my addiction to blogging will begin again after this post.
As you all may have guessed, my son asked me this question a couple of weeks ago. I'm telling you, he comes up with some of the deepest questions for a child his age. (But I guess all moms feel that way) But seriously, he threw me with this one, it came out of the blue. First he asked, "Are you a single mom?" "yes" "Is it hard being a single mom?" "yes" "Well, did you want me?" "yes" What other way do you answer a question like that coming from your child? Don't get me wrong, that was the total honest truth, I did want my son, but do you really expect your child to ask you that?
When I got pregnant, abortion didn't even cross my mind. This was my first pregnancy, I was scared as all get out, I cried when the nurse told me the test results were positive, but I couldn't end my first. My situation was NOT what I wanted it to be before I had a child. I wasn't married, this wasn't his first child, he and I were not on the best of terms, I lived at home with my mom, and I had some bills that I would have liked to be gone, but I could not end this pregnancy. With that being said, after the initial shock, I began to cherish every day of my pregnancy. I was sick for at least the first 5 months, but I knew that a little person was forming inside of me. I read books, searched the Internet, and asked questions to other moms trying to find out as much as I could about this process. I also did as much as I could to prepare. I began to pay off debts, and began to think about things like life insurance, driving slower and moving up in the working world to gain more to take care of this little one. I read to him, because I heard that he knew my voice and could hear me, I put ear phones to my stomach and played Bible verses to him, and music and stories. I never prayed so much in my life for anything, let alone someone I'd never met before. I loved every kick and every movement I felt within me.
To me, labor and delivery was easy. My biggest fear was and still is raising him to be a productive black man. I am doing all I can to ensure that he knows the struggle our ancestors went through to bring us this far, and with the help of family and friends, we have a lot of support, in good times and bad. I think he is a happy little boy, who feels loved and cared for. His dad is involved so although we are not together, I think my son is doing just fine. He also has other men in his life, real men who love him and also show him the right way. We have a small village surrounding us, keeping us safe and supported.
So, Son even though you were not born into the best of circumstances, and you are being raised by a single parent, you are and was from the very beginning a very wanted child. Don't let circumstances hold you back, the greatest man that ever lived was born in not the best of circumstances. Jesus Christ. A boy born to a young white mother and an African father who left him, has now become the first African American President of the United States. You can overcome your circumstances, and you are wanted and needed by me, your family and this world.
As you all may have guessed, my son asked me this question a couple of weeks ago. I'm telling you, he comes up with some of the deepest questions for a child his age. (But I guess all moms feel that way) But seriously, he threw me with this one, it came out of the blue. First he asked, "Are you a single mom?" "yes" "Is it hard being a single mom?" "yes" "Well, did you want me?" "yes" What other way do you answer a question like that coming from your child? Don't get me wrong, that was the total honest truth, I did want my son, but do you really expect your child to ask you that?
When I got pregnant, abortion didn't even cross my mind. This was my first pregnancy, I was scared as all get out, I cried when the nurse told me the test results were positive, but I couldn't end my first. My situation was NOT what I wanted it to be before I had a child. I wasn't married, this wasn't his first child, he and I were not on the best of terms, I lived at home with my mom, and I had some bills that I would have liked to be gone, but I could not end this pregnancy. With that being said, after the initial shock, I began to cherish every day of my pregnancy. I was sick for at least the first 5 months, but I knew that a little person was forming inside of me. I read books, searched the Internet, and asked questions to other moms trying to find out as much as I could about this process. I also did as much as I could to prepare. I began to pay off debts, and began to think about things like life insurance, driving slower and moving up in the working world to gain more to take care of this little one. I read to him, because I heard that he knew my voice and could hear me, I put ear phones to my stomach and played Bible verses to him, and music and stories. I never prayed so much in my life for anything, let alone someone I'd never met before. I loved every kick and every movement I felt within me.
To me, labor and delivery was easy. My biggest fear was and still is raising him to be a productive black man. I am doing all I can to ensure that he knows the struggle our ancestors went through to bring us this far, and with the help of family and friends, we have a lot of support, in good times and bad. I think he is a happy little boy, who feels loved and cared for. His dad is involved so although we are not together, I think my son is doing just fine. He also has other men in his life, real men who love him and also show him the right way. We have a small village surrounding us, keeping us safe and supported.
So, Son even though you were not born into the best of circumstances, and you are being raised by a single parent, you are and was from the very beginning a very wanted child. Don't let circumstances hold you back, the greatest man that ever lived was born in not the best of circumstances. Jesus Christ. A boy born to a young white mother and an African father who left him, has now become the first African American President of the United States. You can overcome your circumstances, and you are wanted and needed by me, your family and this world.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
How deep is your love?
While watching an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Ty and the team built a house for a family of 5, husband, wife, 2 sons, and a daughter. They were a beautiful family, very beautiful. The husband and wife were a nice looking couple, and very in love. On the day that their daughter was born, the father was going home with the boys and was in a terrible car accident. Luckily the kids were fine. The husband however, was severely hurt. He had brain damage and had to go through several surgeries. He was taken to the very hospital he had just left, the hospital where his wife and newborn daughter were. The wife was wheeled to her husbands room and was told he would never walk again. He would never talk again.
But God....................
Miraculously, not less than 2 years later, the husband did in fact walk again. He did in fact talk again. Through hard work, and a lot of prayer, he is coming along. The Home Makeover team gave them a house that fits the family well, and is accessible for the husband.
The reason I ask "how deep is your love?" is because through all of these trials, this wife still loved her husband. He was still a nice looking guy, but because of the many surgeries, his face was a little disfigured, he could not do most of the things he used to be able to do, but she still seemed to love him unconditionally. A lot of us fall in love with someone for the way that they look, the way they dress, or other superficial reasons. But when a tragedy happens, and those looks are not there anymore, will we still be in love? I'm not saying that we should not be attracted to the person we choose to be with, but how much should looks really matter? If you fall in love with someone because they have nice legs, where does the love go if they lose those legs due to an accident? Will the love still be there if you have to push them around in a wheelchair?
I know we all want someone who we are attracted to physically, I just want us to begin to look deeper than just looks and other superficial things. At the rate that couples are being divorced now, and children are being brought up in single parent households, I think it's worth trying to find a deeper connection with someone. We never know what the future holds, and if we vow to be with someone through thick and thin, good times and bad, there has to be something deeper holding us there when those times come.
Let's love deeper. Let's love unconditionally. Let's really look at what it takes to really love someone, and then love them.
Sweet T
But God....................
Miraculously, not less than 2 years later, the husband did in fact walk again. He did in fact talk again. Through hard work, and a lot of prayer, he is coming along. The Home Makeover team gave them a house that fits the family well, and is accessible for the husband.
The reason I ask "how deep is your love?" is because through all of these trials, this wife still loved her husband. He was still a nice looking guy, but because of the many surgeries, his face was a little disfigured, he could not do most of the things he used to be able to do, but she still seemed to love him unconditionally. A lot of us fall in love with someone for the way that they look, the way they dress, or other superficial reasons. But when a tragedy happens, and those looks are not there anymore, will we still be in love? I'm not saying that we should not be attracted to the person we choose to be with, but how much should looks really matter? If you fall in love with someone because they have nice legs, where does the love go if they lose those legs due to an accident? Will the love still be there if you have to push them around in a wheelchair?
I know we all want someone who we are attracted to physically, I just want us to begin to look deeper than just looks and other superficial things. At the rate that couples are being divorced now, and children are being brought up in single parent households, I think it's worth trying to find a deeper connection with someone. We never know what the future holds, and if we vow to be with someone through thick and thin, good times and bad, there has to be something deeper holding us there when those times come.
Let's love deeper. Let's love unconditionally. Let's really look at what it takes to really love someone, and then love them.
Sweet T
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Black Woman -Vs- Black Woman............
Is this another form of Black on Black crime?
I have been thinking about something for a few weeks now, and this morning I was really "lead" to write about it. Ya'll know when I get to thinking, we're all in trouble. :) Anyway, I work in an office that is about 98% women, black women. From the leader of the office down to the lowest. There are 8 men in this office that's dominated by women. Most of the women here have been in this one office for their entire career as Government employees, so this is practically home to them. I don't knock that, do you, and it has provided for your family. A few of us "younger" employees choose to move around in the Government, which means that we've been in several Government offices during our careers. That's not my issue. My issue is this: why is it that women cannot seem to get along? Especially black women? The majority of these women have formed bonds of friendship during their time working together and that's totally cool. They've been through marriages, divorces, children, grandchildren and all of life's changes together. That's all wonderful. But why is it that when a newer, younger female comes into the office, there is a lot of hate? You have women who are selfish with their knowledge of the work that you've been hired to do, women who sit around and talk about you because you are pregnant and not married, women who spread office gossip that has no basis and no inkling of being truthful. And these things are all being done by women who are well over 40. I guess I can expect this from women who are much younger and are trying to get ahead in their career. I know it shouldn't be expected but unfortunately it is. Why can't these women help the younger employee? Why can't they be honest and talk to the younger woman who is pregnant and say, yes, you're pregnant and it's going to be hard, but let me give you some advice on how I managed? Why talk about the woman you hear is going through marital problems? Go to her and say, "This is what helped me and my husband make it"
On the radio this morning, the People Poll asked the question, why can't women get along? Many called in with their reasons as to why they feel women can't get along or why they hate on each other, but the answer that stood out to me the most was one person who called and said that it's insecurities within. I had to think about that for a moment. I had to look at myself and ask the question have I ever perpetuated hate? Am I a jealous person? I think we are all jealous to a point. We all lust after things that someone else may have and we desire. I can admit that I've been jealous of my friends in certain instances, but I don't think I've been to the point where I would maliciously do something to them or spread rumors about their blessing. I know that at times I have to step back and check myself before it begins to get the best of me. I have to stop wondering "why them" and or "why not me?", stop focusing on me and begin to support and congratulate my friend. I think that's where the problem lies. Some women allow jealousy to get the best of them. They look at the outward things that a person may have and allow that desire to take them over.
I remember being in a church service and the Pastor said that when we look at the fame and glory of a person, all that they have and all that they've accomplished, we shouldn't get jealous or get filled w/ envy, because God can do for you what he did for that person also. He also said that we don't know the "story behind the glory". A lot of times, we don't know what a person had to go through to get to the point in which they are now. If we did know, we would probably understand and not feel jealousy. There is a Bible scripture that says something to the effect that the older women should teach the younger women how to live. I think, we are doing a terrible job at following that mandate. We have women who dress in a way that some would say resembles a prostitute, then dress our daughters that same way. We teach them how to dance like they are on a pole in some body's strip club, and encourage them to go after boys at an age where they don't even recognize their worth. We also sit around and hate on another sista right in front of them, so what do you think they'll do when they get older?
I'm not saying all of this to point the finger, because I'll be the first to admit that I've probably done some of these same things. What I'm trying to do is open our eyes so that we can recognize when we are exhibiting these behaviors and correct them. I know that when sistas get together, we can do wonders. Lets not hate on one another. Lets start helping one another, uplifting each other. Don't look at the sista with the family, fat house and Range Rover and think, she thinks she's all that. No, she doesn't, YOU DO. She worked hard to get what she has, and I'm sure if you approach her, and talk with her, you'll learn some things that will carry you through life that will possibly get you in the position that you want to be in.
I have been thinking about something for a few weeks now, and this morning I was really "lead" to write about it. Ya'll know when I get to thinking, we're all in trouble. :) Anyway, I work in an office that is about 98% women, black women. From the leader of the office down to the lowest. There are 8 men in this office that's dominated by women. Most of the women here have been in this one office for their entire career as Government employees, so this is practically home to them. I don't knock that, do you, and it has provided for your family. A few of us "younger" employees choose to move around in the Government, which means that we've been in several Government offices during our careers. That's not my issue. My issue is this: why is it that women cannot seem to get along? Especially black women? The majority of these women have formed bonds of friendship during their time working together and that's totally cool. They've been through marriages, divorces, children, grandchildren and all of life's changes together. That's all wonderful. But why is it that when a newer, younger female comes into the office, there is a lot of hate? You have women who are selfish with their knowledge of the work that you've been hired to do, women who sit around and talk about you because you are pregnant and not married, women who spread office gossip that has no basis and no inkling of being truthful. And these things are all being done by women who are well over 40. I guess I can expect this from women who are much younger and are trying to get ahead in their career. I know it shouldn't be expected but unfortunately it is. Why can't these women help the younger employee? Why can't they be honest and talk to the younger woman who is pregnant and say, yes, you're pregnant and it's going to be hard, but let me give you some advice on how I managed? Why talk about the woman you hear is going through marital problems? Go to her and say, "This is what helped me and my husband make it"
On the radio this morning, the People Poll asked the question, why can't women get along? Many called in with their reasons as to why they feel women can't get along or why they hate on each other, but the answer that stood out to me the most was one person who called and said that it's insecurities within. I had to think about that for a moment. I had to look at myself and ask the question have I ever perpetuated hate? Am I a jealous person? I think we are all jealous to a point. We all lust after things that someone else may have and we desire. I can admit that I've been jealous of my friends in certain instances, but I don't think I've been to the point where I would maliciously do something to them or spread rumors about their blessing. I know that at times I have to step back and check myself before it begins to get the best of me. I have to stop wondering "why them" and or "why not me?", stop focusing on me and begin to support and congratulate my friend. I think that's where the problem lies. Some women allow jealousy to get the best of them. They look at the outward things that a person may have and allow that desire to take them over.
I remember being in a church service and the Pastor said that when we look at the fame and glory of a person, all that they have and all that they've accomplished, we shouldn't get jealous or get filled w/ envy, because God can do for you what he did for that person also. He also said that we don't know the "story behind the glory". A lot of times, we don't know what a person had to go through to get to the point in which they are now. If we did know, we would probably understand and not feel jealousy. There is a Bible scripture that says something to the effect that the older women should teach the younger women how to live. I think, we are doing a terrible job at following that mandate. We have women who dress in a way that some would say resembles a prostitute, then dress our daughters that same way. We teach them how to dance like they are on a pole in some body's strip club, and encourage them to go after boys at an age where they don't even recognize their worth. We also sit around and hate on another sista right in front of them, so what do you think they'll do when they get older?
I'm not saying all of this to point the finger, because I'll be the first to admit that I've probably done some of these same things. What I'm trying to do is open our eyes so that we can recognize when we are exhibiting these behaviors and correct them. I know that when sistas get together, we can do wonders. Lets not hate on one another. Lets start helping one another, uplifting each other. Don't look at the sista with the family, fat house and Range Rover and think, she thinks she's all that. No, she doesn't, YOU DO. She worked hard to get what she has, and I'm sure if you approach her, and talk with her, you'll learn some things that will carry you through life that will possibly get you in the position that you want to be in.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Better gun laws? Who needs them?
There has been a battle for gun reform in this country for some time now. I've never been one to understand the fascination with them, and I must admit that I'm honestly afraid of them. I've never brought my son even a toy gun to play with because I believe that in allowing a child to think that a gun was a toy, you are creating the thought that real guns are toys, and that if someone is shot, they are just pretending and will be alive again in a few minutes. Call me crazy, but that's my thought process, and I've thought this way before I had kids.
The reason why this is heavily on my mind today is that a disturbing report came across the news that an 11 year old boy shot and killed his dad's fiance, who was 8 months pregnant. The baby also died. The report says that the gun was brought by the kids father, and it was made for children. He and his father practiced shooting and apparently were gun enthusiast. I'm not blaming the father for what his son did, but I'm just wondering, if the kid was not taught that guns were OK would he had thought to use the gun to kill someone? The reports are that he was jealous of the fiance and the impending birth of his sibling.
A few months ago, a 9 year old boy killed his father and his father's roommate. That story is still kind of foggy, but all evidence is pointing to him as the killer. What would make a child so young want to kill his dad? The reports are speculating that some type of abuse was going on, but there is no concrete evidence of it.
I am so disturbed by these reports. I know there is nothing new under the sun, but I wonder if I was to do research, would reports like these be something that was very prevalent in the past? These storires break my heart every time I think about them. I get so sad that I literally have to think of something else to get my mind off of it.
The reports are saying that the 11 year old may be charged as an adult, and he is facing life in prison. Right now they have him in a prison for adults, and the warden is supposed to ask a judge if he can be transferred to a juvenile facility because he cannot accommodate a child. Can you imagine a child being locked away for the rest of his life? He's only 11, life has not even begun for him.
I'm really at a loss for words right now. I believe that we should take a deeper look into gun laws. Should guns be made to fit a child's hand? Should children be allowed to use guns, even if hunting? We have to teach our children better.
I pray that the best outcome for both of these boys comes to pass. I don't know what that is right now, but I do know that kids this young should not have to stand trial for something like what they are accused of. Let's do better for our kids.
Sweet T
The reason why this is heavily on my mind today is that a disturbing report came across the news that an 11 year old boy shot and killed his dad's fiance, who was 8 months pregnant. The baby also died. The report says that the gun was brought by the kids father, and it was made for children. He and his father practiced shooting and apparently were gun enthusiast. I'm not blaming the father for what his son did, but I'm just wondering, if the kid was not taught that guns were OK would he had thought to use the gun to kill someone? The reports are that he was jealous of the fiance and the impending birth of his sibling.
A few months ago, a 9 year old boy killed his father and his father's roommate. That story is still kind of foggy, but all evidence is pointing to him as the killer. What would make a child so young want to kill his dad? The reports are speculating that some type of abuse was going on, but there is no concrete evidence of it.
I am so disturbed by these reports. I know there is nothing new under the sun, but I wonder if I was to do research, would reports like these be something that was very prevalent in the past? These storires break my heart every time I think about them. I get so sad that I literally have to think of something else to get my mind off of it.
The reports are saying that the 11 year old may be charged as an adult, and he is facing life in prison. Right now they have him in a prison for adults, and the warden is supposed to ask a judge if he can be transferred to a juvenile facility because he cannot accommodate a child. Can you imagine a child being locked away for the rest of his life? He's only 11, life has not even begun for him.
I'm really at a loss for words right now. I believe that we should take a deeper look into gun laws. Should guns be made to fit a child's hand? Should children be allowed to use guns, even if hunting? We have to teach our children better.
I pray that the best outcome for both of these boys comes to pass. I don't know what that is right now, but I do know that kids this young should not have to stand trial for something like what they are accused of. Let's do better for our kids.
Sweet T
Sunday, February 22, 2009
"How do we know that God is real?"
Another question my son asked me one morning. He has really been asking deep questions lately. One morning he asked, what does virgin mean? Whoa! That's a whole other post. :)
This particular morning, on our way to school, he asked, "Mommy, how do we know that God is real?" Boy, did he get me with this one. He says, "I'm not saying that I don't believe, Mommy, because I do. I just want to know, how do we really know that He's real if we can't see him?" He kept assuring me that he believed, I guess the look on my face said it all. LOL! I was in total shock. And the thoughts that went through my head, I'm sure showed on my face. I couldn't help but think, am I doing something wrong, have I not taught him correctly, how can he question if God is real?
After the initial shock, I tried to explain it to him the best that I could, the only way I knew how. I told him, how else can we explain how the universe was formed? How do we explain the birds, flowers, how our bodies work? He then says, "Mommy, some people don't believe." And I explained that they have that choice, that is another thing that makes God who He is, we have the choice to believe or not.
On a local radio station I listen to at times, the DJ played a segment of the show where India Arie was on, singing live. She sang her song, "God is real". First off let me say, her voice is amazing! I think one of the best voices we have been blessed with. Her performace gave me chills as I listened. As she sang, she gave her reasons why she knew that God was real: When there's earth, air, water, and fire. So many different flowers Sunshine and rain showers So many different crystals And hills and volcanoes
She then begins to sing about her trip to St. Lucia, when she jumped in the water, the type of fish she saw, the colors she saw, how she felt cleansed being in the water. She couldn't even finish the song, because she began to cry. These were some of the things that I tried to explain to my son, although I could have never done it as eloquently as she did.
In looking back, I realize that the answers I gave my son, were not good enough. I realize that he has every right to ask if God is real. I do not want him to go into anything blindly. I think that's the way that people get caught up in cults. I also think that's the way people begin to follow a man instead of following God. I want him to question things. So my perspective has changed about this question. I'm glad he asked. I realize his question has nothing to do with me and how I'm raising him, but everything to do with his growth, and how he sees the world. So in actuality, I think I am doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm raising a child who thinks and is not led blindly. That's one thing I'm proud of.
Although, I don't think I answered my son's question properly, I realize that we have the rest of our lives to find the answer. I Thank God for giving us choices, and the freedom to think. I know that He will lead us to find the answer to this question and there will be no doubt that God is real!
My tidbit: sometimes we think that children can't teach us things, but in actuality if we just stop, listen and watch, they can teach us more than we think. Keep your eyes and ears open.
Sweet T
This particular morning, on our way to school, he asked, "Mommy, how do we know that God is real?" Boy, did he get me with this one. He says, "I'm not saying that I don't believe, Mommy, because I do. I just want to know, how do we really know that He's real if we can't see him?" He kept assuring me that he believed, I guess the look on my face said it all. LOL! I was in total shock. And the thoughts that went through my head, I'm sure showed on my face. I couldn't help but think, am I doing something wrong, have I not taught him correctly, how can he question if God is real?
After the initial shock, I tried to explain it to him the best that I could, the only way I knew how. I told him, how else can we explain how the universe was formed? How do we explain the birds, flowers, how our bodies work? He then says, "Mommy, some people don't believe." And I explained that they have that choice, that is another thing that makes God who He is, we have the choice to believe or not.
On a local radio station I listen to at times, the DJ played a segment of the show where India Arie was on, singing live. She sang her song, "God is real". First off let me say, her voice is amazing! I think one of the best voices we have been blessed with. Her performace gave me chills as I listened. As she sang, she gave her reasons why she knew that God was real: When there's earth, air, water, and fire. So many different flowers Sunshine and rain showers So many different crystals And hills and volcanoes
She then begins to sing about her trip to St. Lucia, when she jumped in the water, the type of fish she saw, the colors she saw, how she felt cleansed being in the water. She couldn't even finish the song, because she began to cry. These were some of the things that I tried to explain to my son, although I could have never done it as eloquently as she did.
In looking back, I realize that the answers I gave my son, were not good enough. I realize that he has every right to ask if God is real. I do not want him to go into anything blindly. I think that's the way that people get caught up in cults. I also think that's the way people begin to follow a man instead of following God. I want him to question things. So my perspective has changed about this question. I'm glad he asked. I realize his question has nothing to do with me and how I'm raising him, but everything to do with his growth, and how he sees the world. So in actuality, I think I am doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm raising a child who thinks and is not led blindly. That's one thing I'm proud of.
Although, I don't think I answered my son's question properly, I realize that we have the rest of our lives to find the answer. I Thank God for giving us choices, and the freedom to think. I know that He will lead us to find the answer to this question and there will be no doubt that God is real!
My tidbit: sometimes we think that children can't teach us things, but in actuality if we just stop, listen and watch, they can teach us more than we think. Keep your eyes and ears open.
Sweet T
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
If you can read this, Thank a teacher..............
For those of you who are parents, I'm sure you've seen the test score results come home for your child every quarter. For those of you who pay attention, you know they are scored in math and reading on a scale of 0% to 100%. If your child scores 0%, you know he/she is performing at a level that's way below what is expected. He/she would basically have to not answer the questions to get this low score. From there the scale reads like this: 1%-49%-student shows a minimal understanding of skills assessed, 50%-69%-student shows a general understanding, 70%-89%-student shows developing understanding of skills, and 90%-100%-student shows an overall understanding of skills.
This quarter's assessments for my son bothered me. My son is 9 years old, and what I consider a child who can understand beyond his age. I'm not the type of parent who brags on their child or who considers their child to be the best at everything, but I do recognize that his level of understanding is a little advanced. Here's the problem. For this quarter, he scored at a level that surprised me and his teachers. He was placed in Accelerated Math, and scored in the 70% range. That is expected because he's being challenged more in this area, so it's taking more effort for him to get the answers. In reading he scored in the 50% range, that surprised me more than anything. My son has been reading since before he entered kindergarten. He's also been talking and expressing himself since the age of 4. This is the first time that he's ever scored like this on the assessment tests.
Being the type of parent that I am, I immediately contacted his teacher. This year his teacher impressed me because during our first conference, he pointed out things about my son that no other teacher has. He knew my son, good and bad, and was very open about what he thought and what he saw as far as my son's abilities. We came up with a plan to help my son succeed, and vowed to work together to make sure he doesn't fail.
I say all of this to say, that given the bad rap teachers get these days, there are some out here who really do see the kids they teach as individuals and are willing to go the extra mile to ensure that the kids don't fail. Hopefully, the plan that we've come up with will help my son work to his potential, and maybe next quarters scores will be much better. I have to put in a lot of work also, but I think in the end it will be well worth it.
If you have children in school and are being taught by great teachers, Thank them. I think teaching is the most under appreciated, most difficult job. So, to all my former teachers, I say Thank you. To all my son's former teachers and teachers to come, I say Thank you. I look forward to working with you all to raise up an educated man, our future generation.
Sweet T
This quarter's assessments for my son bothered me. My son is 9 years old, and what I consider a child who can understand beyond his age. I'm not the type of parent who brags on their child or who considers their child to be the best at everything, but I do recognize that his level of understanding is a little advanced. Here's the problem. For this quarter, he scored at a level that surprised me and his teachers. He was placed in Accelerated Math, and scored in the 70% range. That is expected because he's being challenged more in this area, so it's taking more effort for him to get the answers. In reading he scored in the 50% range, that surprised me more than anything. My son has been reading since before he entered kindergarten. He's also been talking and expressing himself since the age of 4. This is the first time that he's ever scored like this on the assessment tests.
Being the type of parent that I am, I immediately contacted his teacher. This year his teacher impressed me because during our first conference, he pointed out things about my son that no other teacher has. He knew my son, good and bad, and was very open about what he thought and what he saw as far as my son's abilities. We came up with a plan to help my son succeed, and vowed to work together to make sure he doesn't fail.
I say all of this to say, that given the bad rap teachers get these days, there are some out here who really do see the kids they teach as individuals and are willing to go the extra mile to ensure that the kids don't fail. Hopefully, the plan that we've come up with will help my son work to his potential, and maybe next quarters scores will be much better. I have to put in a lot of work also, but I think in the end it will be well worth it.
If you have children in school and are being taught by great teachers, Thank them. I think teaching is the most under appreciated, most difficult job. So, to all my former teachers, I say Thank you. To all my son's former teachers and teachers to come, I say Thank you. I look forward to working with you all to raise up an educated man, our future generation.
Sweet T
Friday, February 13, 2009
R U being ripped off by your electric company?
I am! For the past couple of months, I've noticed a significant change in the amount that I'm being charged for electricity. First off, let me say, I live in a town house, around 1200 sq. f, not big at all. The house is all electric, which means that I only have one bill, but it also means that I have a heat pump. Having said that, for those of you who've lived in a house with a heat pump, you know that it blows cold air, and your home never really feels warm. I've taken steps to insulate my home by installing new energy efficient windows and sliding glass doors, and I keep my temp set at 71 or 72 degrees which is supposed to keep your house warm and at the same time keep your bill under control. Well, let me be the first to say, it does not keep the house warm, especially with a heat pump, nor does it keep your bill under control. I'm not home during the day, I'm at work and my son is in school, so how much energy are we really consuming?
If you live in the DMV area, I know you've seen the countless reports on the news about angry customers who received the highest bills they've ever received recently. I've heard my friends and family complain about the bills they've received, so I know I'm not the only one. It just angers me that the companies can't give a valid explanation as to why the bills have increased as much as they have. To name some of them, in this area you either have, Pepco, Smeco, BG&E, or Dominion Power. In a report in the Washington Post, customers are speaking out. One customer paid $650 for a month, up from $350 the month before. What in the world did he do for his bill to increase by that much for a month? The report also states that the rates per kilowatt hour dropped from almost $120 to $55, which makes me wonder, why are the prices for the consumer going up and not down. The only explanation that a rep could give is that it's been cold and people have been staying in more and turning the thermostat up, consuming more of their stuff. WTH type of explanation is that? From what I can tell, the cold has never stopped anybody from going out. If he had said, the fact that folks don't have money to go out and are staying in more, I would understand, but to say it's because of the cold? Please! They also claim the longer Holiday billing cycle. Yeah, OK. I think all of this is a bunch of BS.
Another thing that angers me is that we're being charged for something that most of us have no idea if we're being charged correctly. I for one, do not ever see a meter reader near my house. When do they come out? And if they do come out, how do we know they are reading the meter correctly? How do we know the company is charging what it should be charging us? My personal opinion is that they estimate what you would use during a certain month. For instance, they know that most people use more energy around the Holidays, with the lights and Christmas tress and all, so they estimate that your usage would increase. Therefore, your bill is always higher around that time whether you use more or not. I've written to my electric company twice, with no response or explanation. My next step is my Congressperson. I've read that this area does not regulate electricity markets, which means that they are allowed to charge what they want. It was supposed to help the prices based on the competition. We see that's not working.
If there is anybody out there who can help me to understand how I'm being charged it will be greatly appreciated. I'm all ears. For now, my only recourse is to continue to write my electric company, move on to writing my Congressperson, and write in this blog to vent my frustrations. O yeah, I guess I better add, pay my bill, regardless of the cost because if I don't, my son and I may end up frozen to death because I'm sure they will not hesitate to cut it off if the bill goes unpaid.
No tidbits this time. If you have some for me, I'm all ears.
Sweet T
If you live in the DMV area, I know you've seen the countless reports on the news about angry customers who received the highest bills they've ever received recently. I've heard my friends and family complain about the bills they've received, so I know I'm not the only one. It just angers me that the companies can't give a valid explanation as to why the bills have increased as much as they have. To name some of them, in this area you either have, Pepco, Smeco, BG&E, or Dominion Power. In a report in the Washington Post, customers are speaking out. One customer paid $650 for a month, up from $350 the month before. What in the world did he do for his bill to increase by that much for a month? The report also states that the rates per kilowatt hour dropped from almost $120 to $55, which makes me wonder, why are the prices for the consumer going up and not down. The only explanation that a rep could give is that it's been cold and people have been staying in more and turning the thermostat up, consuming more of their stuff. WTH type of explanation is that? From what I can tell, the cold has never stopped anybody from going out. If he had said, the fact that folks don't have money to go out and are staying in more, I would understand, but to say it's because of the cold? Please! They also claim the longer Holiday billing cycle. Yeah, OK. I think all of this is a bunch of BS.
Another thing that angers me is that we're being charged for something that most of us have no idea if we're being charged correctly. I for one, do not ever see a meter reader near my house. When do they come out? And if they do come out, how do we know they are reading the meter correctly? How do we know the company is charging what it should be charging us? My personal opinion is that they estimate what you would use during a certain month. For instance, they know that most people use more energy around the Holidays, with the lights and Christmas tress and all, so they estimate that your usage would increase. Therefore, your bill is always higher around that time whether you use more or not. I've written to my electric company twice, with no response or explanation. My next step is my Congressperson. I've read that this area does not regulate electricity markets, which means that they are allowed to charge what they want. It was supposed to help the prices based on the competition. We see that's not working.
If there is anybody out there who can help me to understand how I'm being charged it will be greatly appreciated. I'm all ears. For now, my only recourse is to continue to write my electric company, move on to writing my Congressperson, and write in this blog to vent my frustrations. O yeah, I guess I better add, pay my bill, regardless of the cost because if I don't, my son and I may end up frozen to death because I'm sure they will not hesitate to cut it off if the bill goes unpaid.
No tidbits this time. If you have some for me, I'm all ears.
Sweet T
Friday, January 23, 2009
We are living HISTORY.............
January 20, 2009, approximately 12 pm, Washington, DC, the day the first African American President was Inaugurated. I can't believe that in my lifetime, I was able to be apart of a historical moment such as this. As African Americans, we've all heard from our parents, teachers, t.v., etc. that we can be anything we want to be, today we can actually believe it.
My family, friends and I were all in attendance to witness history. We cheered as President Barack Obama took his oath. We were dead quiet as he made his first speech as President. Can you imagine, a room full of black boys ages, 7 to 15, all watching as this man is showing America what we really are like? Black boys who will now have a Black man running this country for the majority of their lives. This is truly a moment that I'm sure they will never forget.
Did you see how First Lady Michelle looked at her husband with so much pride, adoration and love? I for one thoroughly enjoyed seeing black love displayed in that manner. It gives me a renewed hope in black relationships every time I see how Barack holds his woman, and how he looks at her, and the way she looks at him. The respect they have for each other makes me smile from ear to ear every time I see them.
My only somber thought of the day was that my family members who are no longer here on earth were not able to experience this moment. I'm sure they were looking down from Heaven just as proud as we all were. But only if they could have been here to share it with us.
I don't mean to make this into a Black thing, but I can't help but to feel extremely proud and hopeful for our future after witnessing this historical event. We've all heard that we can do it, but to actually live to see it happen is an amazing feeling.
In case you missed it, this is the first address of our new President, I hope it touches you as much as it touched me. Enjoy!
Sweet T
OBAMA: My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.
My family, friends and I were all in attendance to witness history. We cheered as President Barack Obama took his oath. We were dead quiet as he made his first speech as President. Can you imagine, a room full of black boys ages, 7 to 15, all watching as this man is showing America what we really are like? Black boys who will now have a Black man running this country for the majority of their lives. This is truly a moment that I'm sure they will never forget.
Did you see how First Lady Michelle looked at her husband with so much pride, adoration and love? I for one thoroughly enjoyed seeing black love displayed in that manner. It gives me a renewed hope in black relationships every time I see how Barack holds his woman, and how he looks at her, and the way she looks at him. The respect they have for each other makes me smile from ear to ear every time I see them.
My only somber thought of the day was that my family members who are no longer here on earth were not able to experience this moment. I'm sure they were looking down from Heaven just as proud as we all were. But only if they could have been here to share it with us.
I don't mean to make this into a Black thing, but I can't help but to feel extremely proud and hopeful for our future after witnessing this historical event. We've all heard that we can do it, but to actually live to see it happen is an amazing feeling.
In case you missed it, this is the first address of our new President, I hope it touches you as much as it touched me. Enjoy!
Sweet T
OBAMA: My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Psalm 139...
I don't know how many who follow my posts believe in the Word of God, but I do and I had to go to the Bible today for guidance. Something has been bothering me a little........
We are about 13 days into the New Year, and all over the T.V., radio, and Internet we see advertisements for weight loss pills, diets, exercise programs, celebrity fitness tapes etc. Of course we are bombarded with these images this time of year because most of us resolve to "lose weight" in 2009. That is actually a resolution I dare to say is made by the majority of folks EVERY YEAR! :0 I don't have a problem with being healthy, I too strive to be healthy, although I constantly miss the mark. But what I do have a problem with is how most women have issues with their body. I am including myself in this number.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've also heard about Oprah and her weight gain. How she feels depressed, how she can't believe she let herself go, how she's embarrassed by her struggle with weight. I do feel Ms. O's pain, but do we really need to hear again how she gained weight after losing it all? Larry King even dedicated a whole hour to this "breaking news". In my opinion, Ms. O looks good. She's a 50+ woman, who realistically should not be expected to be a size 0. She is a woman of color who has curves. And I'm sure if you ask most African American men, they would say her curves are in all the right places. :)
Listening to a radio show I listen to daily, a woman writes in for advice as to whether or not she should get breast augmentation because her husband does not find her sagging breast attractive any more. This woman has had this man's children, and from what I gather has been a good wife to him. He also offered to pay for the operation. She said she wanted to be appealing to her husband, which I can totally understand, but she was afraid of going under the knife. How far do we have to go to keep our husbands attracted to us? Furthermore, what does he look like after 20+ years of marriage? I'm sure he is not what he used to be either. Newsflash: All women's breast begin to sag at some point! Unless of course the choice is made to get fake ones.
On a daily basis, I have conversations with my family and friends about weight issues, and what we don't like about ourselves. Some of those conversations are initiated by me, some of them are not, but I do add my two cents about what I just don't like about my body. When will it all end? I'm sick of myself at this point.
I guess my point in all of this is to check myself, and hopefully in the process, help others see that we are who we are, and we should love ourselves. We should strive to be healthy, but don't place a lot of effort in being a certain size or weight. This is a hard thing for me to do, and I'm sure it's hard for most women. We see images all day of women who look perfect. Perfect skin, hair, clothes, and shoes. I will not resolve to stop complaining about me because I know that most likely that won't happen, at least not right away. I won't even make a statement that I'll try to do better, because that always slaps me in the face too. I will say that I'm sick of myself and my complaints. I am surrounded by beautiful women. I may be a little biased, but it's true. I have friends and family members that are gorgeous. The problem is they don't see what I, and countless others see. All we see are imperfections. Maybe if I begin to love who I am, and my body in all my imperfections, it will rub off on those around me, and then it will rub off on those around them.
For those of us who believe, I leave you with this:
Psalm 139:13-18 (NKJV)
~For You have formed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.~
If I am what this Scripture says I am, what is it going to take for me to believe it? If God thinks many precious thoughts of me, why do I think otherwise?
Sweet T
We are about 13 days into the New Year, and all over the T.V., radio, and Internet we see advertisements for weight loss pills, diets, exercise programs, celebrity fitness tapes etc. Of course we are bombarded with these images this time of year because most of us resolve to "lose weight" in 2009. That is actually a resolution I dare to say is made by the majority of folks EVERY YEAR! :0 I don't have a problem with being healthy, I too strive to be healthy, although I constantly miss the mark. But what I do have a problem with is how most women have issues with their body. I am including myself in this number.
Over the past couple of weeks, I've also heard about Oprah and her weight gain. How she feels depressed, how she can't believe she let herself go, how she's embarrassed by her struggle with weight. I do feel Ms. O's pain, but do we really need to hear again how she gained weight after losing it all? Larry King even dedicated a whole hour to this "breaking news". In my opinion, Ms. O looks good. She's a 50+ woman, who realistically should not be expected to be a size 0. She is a woman of color who has curves. And I'm sure if you ask most African American men, they would say her curves are in all the right places. :)
Listening to a radio show I listen to daily, a woman writes in for advice as to whether or not she should get breast augmentation because her husband does not find her sagging breast attractive any more. This woman has had this man's children, and from what I gather has been a good wife to him. He also offered to pay for the operation. She said she wanted to be appealing to her husband, which I can totally understand, but she was afraid of going under the knife. How far do we have to go to keep our husbands attracted to us? Furthermore, what does he look like after 20+ years of marriage? I'm sure he is not what he used to be either. Newsflash: All women's breast begin to sag at some point! Unless of course the choice is made to get fake ones.
On a daily basis, I have conversations with my family and friends about weight issues, and what we don't like about ourselves. Some of those conversations are initiated by me, some of them are not, but I do add my two cents about what I just don't like about my body. When will it all end? I'm sick of myself at this point.
I guess my point in all of this is to check myself, and hopefully in the process, help others see that we are who we are, and we should love ourselves. We should strive to be healthy, but don't place a lot of effort in being a certain size or weight. This is a hard thing for me to do, and I'm sure it's hard for most women. We see images all day of women who look perfect. Perfect skin, hair, clothes, and shoes. I will not resolve to stop complaining about me because I know that most likely that won't happen, at least not right away. I won't even make a statement that I'll try to do better, because that always slaps me in the face too. I will say that I'm sick of myself and my complaints. I am surrounded by beautiful women. I may be a little biased, but it's true. I have friends and family members that are gorgeous. The problem is they don't see what I, and countless others see. All we see are imperfections. Maybe if I begin to love who I am, and my body in all my imperfections, it will rub off on those around me, and then it will rub off on those around them.
For those of us who believe, I leave you with this:
Psalm 139:13-18 (NKJV)
~For You have formed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.~
If I am what this Scripture says I am, what is it going to take for me to believe it? If God thinks many precious thoughts of me, why do I think otherwise?
Sweet T
Thursday, January 8, 2009
I am feeling so proud!
Yes, I know it's about 2 months too late for a post like this. But this morning on my way to work, they were playing the "best of" on a radio show that I listen to at times. Today, they replayed the show from November 5, 2008, and we all know what happened that day! Just in case you missed it, that was the day that the first African American President was elected to serve the American people!!
As the radio show hosts began to share their experiences from the night before, and how they felt watching the election night results, I began to tear up thinking about that night myself. It was, and still is, an unbelievable feeling. I was able to share a moment like that with my 9 year old son. A little black boy who was able to see that "YES WE CAN" become President. "YES WE CAN" love our wife and children in public without shame. "YES WE CAN" be smart, intellectual men, (and women) and still have "swagga". It felt so good to know that we finally have someone that can represent us to all of the world in a positive way.
This morning on the news, they had a segment about the person who is likely to be named the oldest woman. Mrs. Gertrude Baines is 114 years old, was born in 1894, lives in a California nursing home, was a former slave and according to reports voted for Barack Obama because "he's for the colored people". I'm not saying that was a good reason to vote for him, however can you imagine the history she took with her to the polling station? Can you imagine the struggles she was able to leave right there at the polls? I'm imagining a load being carried for 114 years, and she was finally able to drop it, right there on November 4, 2008. I would love to sit at the feet of Mrs. Baines and just listen. Listen to all that she's seen, all that she's heard, all that she's done, all that she can offer me.
In the Washington Post, it's reported that in Denver Colorado, Terrance Carroll, a sharecropper's grandson, was chosen as speaker of Colorado's House of Representatives, the first in that state. A state where blacks only make up about 4% of the population. He and Senate President, Peter C. Groff, are the only blacks among Colorado's 100 legislators.
All of this information came to me today. I am a firm believer that nothing happens by coincidence. For some reason, I received this info. Maybe it was to pass it along to you, in order for you to pass it along to others, and so on and so on. These are just a few reasons why I'm feeling proud today. I'm proud of Eric Holden, nominee for Attorney general, Michelle Obama, a woman who on her own could concur the world but chose to drop it all to support her husband in his vision, all the celebs who took time to educate our young folks on how important it is for our voices to be heard, Luda, Jay Z, Diddy, Russell Simmons, etc. I'm proud of those of us who voted. I'm proud of those of us who wanted to vote, but couldn't for various reasons. I'm proud of the children who were not old enough to vote, but were very interested in learning about this political process. I am so proud of the men and women who choose to do the right thing daily without recognition. I could go on and on today, but I won't. I would just leave you all with this:
ROSA SAT, SO MARTIN COULD WALK. MARTIN WALKED SO THAT OBAMA COULD RUN. OBAMA RAN SO THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN FLY!
Lets keep showing the world that the images they see frequently, are not who we really are. My tidbit for today is: Whenever you get down about the state of our people, or you are bombarded with negative images of who we are, look around you, we have plenty of reasons to be proud!
Sweet T
As the radio show hosts began to share their experiences from the night before, and how they felt watching the election night results, I began to tear up thinking about that night myself. It was, and still is, an unbelievable feeling. I was able to share a moment like that with my 9 year old son. A little black boy who was able to see that "YES WE CAN" become President. "YES WE CAN" love our wife and children in public without shame. "YES WE CAN" be smart, intellectual men, (and women) and still have "swagga". It felt so good to know that we finally have someone that can represent us to all of the world in a positive way.
This morning on the news, they had a segment about the person who is likely to be named the oldest woman. Mrs. Gertrude Baines is 114 years old, was born in 1894, lives in a California nursing home, was a former slave and according to reports voted for Barack Obama because "he's for the colored people". I'm not saying that was a good reason to vote for him, however can you imagine the history she took with her to the polling station? Can you imagine the struggles she was able to leave right there at the polls? I'm imagining a load being carried for 114 years, and she was finally able to drop it, right there on November 4, 2008. I would love to sit at the feet of Mrs. Baines and just listen. Listen to all that she's seen, all that she's heard, all that she's done, all that she can offer me.
In the Washington Post, it's reported that in Denver Colorado, Terrance Carroll, a sharecropper's grandson, was chosen as speaker of Colorado's House of Representatives, the first in that state. A state where blacks only make up about 4% of the population. He and Senate President, Peter C. Groff, are the only blacks among Colorado's 100 legislators.
All of this information came to me today. I am a firm believer that nothing happens by coincidence. For some reason, I received this info. Maybe it was to pass it along to you, in order for you to pass it along to others, and so on and so on. These are just a few reasons why I'm feeling proud today. I'm proud of Eric Holden, nominee for Attorney general, Michelle Obama, a woman who on her own could concur the world but chose to drop it all to support her husband in his vision, all the celebs who took time to educate our young folks on how important it is for our voices to be heard, Luda, Jay Z, Diddy, Russell Simmons, etc. I'm proud of those of us who voted. I'm proud of those of us who wanted to vote, but couldn't for various reasons. I'm proud of the children who were not old enough to vote, but were very interested in learning about this political process. I am so proud of the men and women who choose to do the right thing daily without recognition. I could go on and on today, but I won't. I would just leave you all with this:
ROSA SAT, SO MARTIN COULD WALK. MARTIN WALKED SO THAT OBAMA COULD RUN. OBAMA RAN SO THAT OUR CHILDREN CAN FLY!
Lets keep showing the world that the images they see frequently, are not who we really are. My tidbit for today is: Whenever you get down about the state of our people, or you are bombarded with negative images of who we are, look around you, we have plenty of reasons to be proud!
Sweet T
Monday, January 5, 2009
Child support. Is it really that serious?
Yesterday, I heard the most disturbing news to date. Yes, I know, we are only 5 days into the new year, but I really could not believe my ears. A man killed his son because he didn't want to pay child support. Wow!! The boy was only 2 years old. Apparently, the father never spent time with him during these 2 years of his life, but when ordered to pay to support the child, he decides to pick him up under the pretense of spending time with his son. Wow! He apparently owed $4000 in child support payments.
This idiot actually admitted to killing his son because he didn't want to support him financially. According to News Services, he also said, "I'm sorry about killing my baby. I had a whole bunch of reasons." Wow! I would surely love to hear these "bunch of reasons" he has for killing a 2 year old boy. Is supporting your child really that serious?
I hear all types of stories of how men will quit a job so that they don't have to pay child support. Or they will opt to work "under the table" to avoid child support payments. I've also heard stories of men who pay less than $200 a month, but will still petition the court for a decrease in payments. I mean, come on, is it that bad? I believe that these men are the immature one's who think that their money is going to somehow benefit the mother of the child. That is so ridiculous to me. Think about it. The mother of that child provides, shelter, clothes, food, entertainment, etc., and all you have to pay is $200 or less to help support and you really believe that she is living large off of your money? Wow!
I'm really at a loss for words on this one. I just can't wrap my mind around it. How did he kill the baby? Can you imagine a 2 year old looking up at him as he takes his last breath? And all this dude can say is, "I have a whole bunch of reasons" Wow! The only thing I can say today is, ladies, lets try to be a little more careful on who we choose to have children with. I know, we really don't know what a person is capable of, but we have to do better.
Sweet T
This idiot actually admitted to killing his son because he didn't want to support him financially. According to News Services, he also said, "I'm sorry about killing my baby. I had a whole bunch of reasons." Wow! I would surely love to hear these "bunch of reasons" he has for killing a 2 year old boy. Is supporting your child really that serious?
I hear all types of stories of how men will quit a job so that they don't have to pay child support. Or they will opt to work "under the table" to avoid child support payments. I've also heard stories of men who pay less than $200 a month, but will still petition the court for a decrease in payments. I mean, come on, is it that bad? I believe that these men are the immature one's who think that their money is going to somehow benefit the mother of the child. That is so ridiculous to me. Think about it. The mother of that child provides, shelter, clothes, food, entertainment, etc., and all you have to pay is $200 or less to help support and you really believe that she is living large off of your money? Wow!
I'm really at a loss for words on this one. I just can't wrap my mind around it. How did he kill the baby? Can you imagine a 2 year old looking up at him as he takes his last breath? And all this dude can say is, "I have a whole bunch of reasons" Wow! The only thing I can say today is, ladies, lets try to be a little more careful on who we choose to have children with. I know, we really don't know what a person is capable of, but we have to do better.
Sweet T
Saturday, January 3, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
We are 3 days into the new year and I'm sitting here trying to think of what I can do to make this year a year that can impact my life in a positive way. Last year, 2008, was not a bad year, I must admit, but there are some things that I feel I could have done a little better. I know we all make the new years resolution to lose weight, to exercise, to go to work on time things like that. But this year, I want to really put some thought into it, and make life changes, not just resolutions.
I really want to map out this year. I want to take a look at my life to see what can be made better for me, set a list of priorities, and figure out ways to make these things happen. I have to do some serious soul searching. I'm going to have to get closer to God to find my life's purpose. But I'm ready to do just that. Several years ago, I went through a transition in my life, that I feel has changed me for good. I learned some things about me that hurt, but I also learned some things about me that freed me. I know this transition is going to be the same. I know there are going to be some revelations about myself that will not make me feel good, but I also know that there are things that I will learn about myself that will make me feel good, and some that will come as a surprise to me. Yes, there are still some things that I don't know about myself yet.
One thing I did learn about myself in 2008 is that I love spending time with my family. This past year, we've spent a great deal of time together, and I realize that those are the times that I'm the most happiest. No, we are not perfect, but what family is? Another thing I realized last year is that having a good relationship is possible. Again, no relationship is perfect, but a relationship that is perfect for ME is possible. :)
All in all, 2008 was a good year. I'm hoping that 2009 can be even better. Although my life is not perfect, I can always find some things that just can't be changed. Also, there are some things that can be changed. My tidbit for today is: Take inventory of your life. Look at the things around you that you know you can't live without and begin to feed those things to make them grow. Look at those things in your life that you are not happy with and make a plan to change those things or make them better. Forget about the past, live for today. Life is too short to look behind. Look forward and press on to a better 2009 and beyond.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Sweet T.
I really want to map out this year. I want to take a look at my life to see what can be made better for me, set a list of priorities, and figure out ways to make these things happen. I have to do some serious soul searching. I'm going to have to get closer to God to find my life's purpose. But I'm ready to do just that. Several years ago, I went through a transition in my life, that I feel has changed me for good. I learned some things about me that hurt, but I also learned some things about me that freed me. I know this transition is going to be the same. I know there are going to be some revelations about myself that will not make me feel good, but I also know that there are things that I will learn about myself that will make me feel good, and some that will come as a surprise to me. Yes, there are still some things that I don't know about myself yet.
One thing I did learn about myself in 2008 is that I love spending time with my family. This past year, we've spent a great deal of time together, and I realize that those are the times that I'm the most happiest. No, we are not perfect, but what family is? Another thing I realized last year is that having a good relationship is possible. Again, no relationship is perfect, but a relationship that is perfect for ME is possible. :)
All in all, 2008 was a good year. I'm hoping that 2009 can be even better. Although my life is not perfect, I can always find some things that just can't be changed. Also, there are some things that can be changed. My tidbit for today is: Take inventory of your life. Look at the things around you that you know you can't live without and begin to feed those things to make them grow. Look at those things in your life that you are not happy with and make a plan to change those things or make them better. Forget about the past, live for today. Life is too short to look behind. Look forward and press on to a better 2009 and beyond.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Sweet T.
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